Thursday, January 12, 2012

Really? Really!

After writing my weekly post about excess it's like the heavens opened up and offered me a mid-week post. 

Beyonce (no I will not put that silly accent over the "e" in your name...unless you would like to put the tilde thingie over the "n" in my name) and Jay-Z (oh Jiminy Crickets I can hardly take this with these names!) had their baby.  A precious little girl they inexplicably named Blue Ivy or something of the sort.  Why don't you just go ahead and keep a therapist on call for this kid. 

Sorry, I digress, I'm not actually upset with their name.  There's plenty really awful names floating around out there.  Just think, someday someone named _____ will be performing your open-heart surgery or advising you about your retirement.  Okay, so I didn't fill this in so that I didn't offend any of my friends...

I decided to rant on a Thursday night because these people are killing me with their bullshit.  They have a golden rocking horse for this baby and a bejeweled crib.  Are you f-ing kidding me?  (Here I invite you to fill in your own word for "f."  Here are some suggestions:  freaking, frick-fracking, fennel-seeding, fish-frying, food-fighting, etc)

What the Frank-Lloyd-Wright does a baby need with a gold rocking horse?  Not gold as in plush with a golden hue, like gold as in the precious metal.  Will it make her smarter?  More friendly?  A better person in general?  Nope. 

There are children starving and dying right here in our own country not to mention all over the world.  But by all means, get your kid the horse. 

I'll give Beyonce and Mr. -Z a break.  Perhaps they're just trying to provide their child with the childhood they never had.  May I suggest though, that rather than buying a bunch of bullshit, spend time with your child.  Teach your child about being a good citizen.  Teach your child that giving is better than receiving.  Let them explore the world and decide on their own what they like.  It might be golden equine, but it might be the box in which the equine arrived.  Look, I'm sure they intend to do all of those things anyway, so what's with the horse?

I can't take it.  My brain just exploded.  I will direct you to my friend's blog where she is far more diplomatic and likely more entertaining with her commentary on this topic.


  1. Heh. Excess, indeed. Stupid, stupid excess. But at least you made me laugh ;)

  2. I take issue with ridiculous names and Blue Ivy is a ridiculous name. Also, when I heard how much that horse cost, I literally felt sick. Disgusting. So Beyonce gave birth...why has the entire country been obsessed with her pregnancy and birth? I don't get it.

  3. Thanks for sharing my blog post, sweetie! Although, I have to say, that whole golden equine thing (of which I was unaware when I wrote my post)... it's kind of making me want to slap fight a celeb...